Wednesday, February 22, 2006

love is a force of nature -- Brokeback Mountain. how true. just like how nature is something that cannot be explained. like we can get all technical but really who knows and can predict what's going to happen to anything next. i think i'm still at a stage where i'm just trying to get to know more and understand people. especially the opposite sex. i just don't have that nan ren yuan so i can really never fathom how they think. which really worries me that i may not ever be able to find a partner. i don't know. somehow 60 to 70 % of the guys i think i may have some feelings for actually turn out to be jerks and the remaining 30 to 40 % are like the perfect guy but already attached. so you see, that does not leave many left. the rest are probably just not to my liking. and sometimes i wonder if my expectations are too high. which i shouldn't have right considering my tiao jian. ah shucks i don't know.
watched brokeback mountain yesterday and i was really touched by the story though simple it may be. but just the fact that it's so hard to actually love and be with the one you really really like is something that i can totally relate to is enough to get me all emotional. sometimes you really wonder how fate works. i don't know and i want to find out but i don't know how. sigh...so much for love.

:: Room on the 3rd Floor :: posted at 11:23 pm

Sunday, February 05, 2006

i haven't had one of my nice dreams in a very long time and it finally materialised yesterday :) this time i dreamt about raymond lam. but as usual, i can't remember the details, just that we seemed to be schooling together and he's a guy friend of mine and another pretty good girl friend. in the end we got together and he refused to let it be known in case that good friend of mine got jealous cos she kinda likes him too. and so of course i got pissed and then the dream kinda ended there :( but i liked how we got together and the things that we did on our so-called dates. i think we were having a meal and he asked me if i wanted more food, saying that he knew of somewhere nice where we could go eat more. so i suggested that since we both like food, the next time we go out we should do like a food tour and basically go round the country and sample all the good food. yeah, and i just remember us looking very happy. sigh...so nice...

:: Room on the 3rd Floor :: posted at 9:38 pm

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

sigh...sometimes fate really plays with you. just as when i was feeling sorry about myself, what with ben and viv, who should IM me but ben. other than wishing me happy new year, nothing much though. after that we or rather he didn't bother to keep the conversation going so i didn't really reply to him after we finished our ke4 tao4 hua4. geez...sometimes i really don't understand why he still IMs me. if what i think is right, which is that he knows that i like him and he doesn't like me thus wants to avoid me, then why does he still bother to wish me right? i mean he didn't bother to wish me luck for 'A's. grrr i really wish i could pry open his brain just to figure out what he's up to and what he's thinking. damn now i'm going to have problems getting to sleep. i need someone to analyse for me!! haha but who?

:: Room on the 3rd Floor :: posted at 12:09 am